How to tell if a child is gifted?

[metz]

rawafish:

While I agree with sleepy on the importance of socialising, it doesn't seem like a good idea to keep her in school feeling totally bored and restless just for the sake of making friends? When she was in N2 (~3yo), she would approach her classmates and ask them if she could play with them. Kids being kids at 3yo, they just ran off. And she took it as a rejection. A little too mature for her age, I feel, and she gets along much better with older kids.

Not so much of maturity. Perhaps she needs to learn how to handle rejections.

rawafish:

Anyway.
Does that mean that HS doesn't = enough socialising as compared to preschools? It is hard to recreate that school environment with so many kids no matter how big effort I make to arrange playdates etc hor? Sigh. No perfect solution.

Yes, even with playdates on regular basis, it would be almost impossible to recreate the social environment a school has. Question is - why do you want to recreate one for your child when you think she is not thriving in that evironment? Aren't you contradicting yourself?

Homeschooling isn't equivalent to depriving the children of social interaction with other kids. There exists many settings for socialisation besides school. If you can, try talking to homeschoolers on this topic. The yahoo homeschoolers have been organising various activities and events. They even have a concert on an annual basis.

[simple2005]

rawafish:

Thanks Mashy.
I should clarify - enrichment classes I meant classes like \"I can read\", \"Berries\", \"Learning Lab\" those academic ones.

My girl is taking ballet and piano classes, both she asked for. And swimming and blading. Classes that parents say are \"useless\". Oh well. Most importantly she enjoys them.

I do try to teach at home. Randomly got a P1 book and tried to be a kiasu parent. Taught her number bonds, which she understood almost immediately. Should I teach her more?

I chose this preschool because it is the least academic one that I could find, no spelling, no ting xie, no homework.. maybe I'm not even sure what I want for her? I didn't want the kids to have to slog for school so early in their lives, to enjoy their childhood, but it turns out they (my son as well) feel underchallenged. (The difference is my son LOVES school, LOVES his friends, and doesn't mind doing \"too easy\" things that he already knows)

Just my 2cts worth.

Go easy on the P1 books, no point doing it now, since it sounds like she's going to breeze through even if she will be learning them only when in P1, it'll keep them relatively interested in school (to learn something new) rather than being bored because they already know it.

More importantly to explore things out of academic curriculum
1. allow her to explore the world around, go for nature walks/talks the guides share their knowledge, no tests, just let her listen and learn on her own. Don't expect the kid to regurgitate out what was spoken, but it does stay in the head somewhere, waiting to be pulled out later
2. Read. Read. Read. She likes to read, let her read. Children can find out things that they really like through reading various books. What is she reading now? With a good skill in reading, they can study on their own easier
3. Travel, if finances allow, if it's in your blood (to travel on your own), and your child can and not too shy to speak. Go to places where interaction with people. I prefer Youth Hostels, B&Bs, where my children gets to interact with the locals or fellow travelers.

Somethings just can't be taught and must be experienced, and what is learnt just cannot be quantified, so do not worry about what you think they actually learnt through those experiences.

Cheers.

[venuschan]

[quote="rawafish"]While I agree with sleepy on the importance of socialising, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to keep her in school feeling totally bored and restless just for the sake of making friends? When she was in N2 (~3yo), she would approach her classmates and ask them if she could play with them. Kids being kids at 3yo, they just ran off. And she took it as a rejection. A little too mature for her age, I feel, and she gets along much better with older kids.

Anyway.



I have a highly gifted child, I see her pain more than mine bc she is the one going through the system. 

Since you mentioned under challenged, hence, I only give my 2cents on ideas why we should in a away stop shoving them under challenged work. 

In fact you could improve her situation by introducing any types of challenging activities,  (1) the structured ones, to name a few, piano, abacus, robotics…swimming, even reading, reading with skill or even listening to audio files  etc, (2) the unstructured ones,  any types of plays, drawing, singing…anything that’s fun…

Like said, most challenging activities need perfection, and problem with gifted kids is they thought their giftedness is innate, nature, not nurture,  in a way,  they are too young to understand factual fact that effort and failures are often siblings in life.  I’m afraid by constantly shoving any under challenged work would likely  forbidding them moving out form their comfort zone.  I once recalled how my girl started abacus at 5.9yo, according to age, she supposed to do only preliminary/foundation level, with pace, she should skip, hence,  by giving her work according to age, she complained and lamented with boredom but stopped lamenting after few levels skipped until one day I started to realize she had gone past her age many years to acquire that hard skill by doing all big sums mentally, for sums like 256x56 or 3456/34 etc and she was only 6 that time. 

So, I think with some modified changes in our approach, our responsive to their pleas,  not only we manage to know their potential, also more importantly, more "humbly" in their mindset towards life as a whole.

Sent from my iPad

[rawafish]

[quote]
Yes, even with playdates on regular basis, it would be almost impossible to recreate the social environment a school has. Question is - why do you want to recreate one for your child when you think she is not thriving in that evironment? Aren't you contradicting yourself?[/quote]Social interaction in school is the only reason why I am interested in putting her in school. That is why if I were to HS her, I would wish to recreate that environment, EVEN IF she is not thriving yet. She is not doing well in making friends, but that doesn't mean that I want her to stop trying.

[rawafish]

[quote]
More importantly to explore things out of academic curriculum
1. allow her to explore the world around, go for nature walks/talks the guides share their knowledge, no tests, just let her listen and learn on her own. Don't expect the kid to regurgitate out what was spoken, but it does stay in the head somewhere, waiting to be pulled out later
2. Read. Read. Read. She likes to read, let her read. Children can find out things that they really like through reading various books. What is she reading now? With a good skill in reading, they can study on their own easier
3. Travel, if finances allow, if it's in your blood (to travel on your own), and your child can and not too shy to speak. Go to places where interaction with people. I prefer Youth Hostels, B&Bs, where my children gets to interact with the locals or fellow travelers. [/quote]Great advice. Thanks a lot, appreciate it.

[rawafish]

[quote]
I have a highly gifted child, I see her pain more than mine bc she is the one going through the system. [/quote]Thanks for sharing! Appreciate it.

[metz]

rawafish:

[quote]
Yes, even with playdates on regular basis, it would be almost impossible to recreate the social environment a school has. Question is - why do you want to recreate one for your child when you think she is not thriving in that evironment? Aren't you contradicting yourself?

Social interaction in school is the only reason why I am interested in putting her in school. That is why if I were to HS her, I would wish to recreate that environment, EVEN IF she is not thriving yet. She is not doing well in making friends, but that doesn't mean that I want her to stop trying.[/quote]Both my children encountered problems making friends during their preschool years. They were thriving well academically but not socially. My daughter had her first taste of school life when she joined the second semester of N2. Even at that young age, she was already ostracized by some classmates cos she was a new kid on the block. Her teacher told me she seemed to be observing them at a distance, not joining them. My son felt he could not connect with the other children too. He had always considered himself a loner and didn't mind not having friends.

In a way, we were fortunate to have a two years break from school. Both kids stayed at home and studied by themselves. We didn't look for opportunties to socialise actively this time around. Instead, both learnt to play with kids of various ages and make small talks with adults whenever they had the chance to. Friends often comment that they are rather sociable and outspoken despite not attending any formal schools.

When they returned to school during the second semester last year, they had some hiccups initially. For my daughter, she learnt to make friends with another who was mean (verbally) to her. But now, she is having a great time with her classmates, though school work still bores her to tears. Perhaps, age has made her more mature, she can now handle her classmates pretty well. As for my son, his then P3 teacher told me that his class viewed him as a weirdo (as he loves to keep to his books) and she would like for him to mix more with the rest instead of sticking his nose to books. He was polite to everyone but not interested to join them. Under her encouragement, he slowly befriended some classmates. This year in a GEP class, he not only mixes with his classmates but also takes steps to befriend students outside his class.

My point is, homeschooling doesn't mean a child will lose the opportunity to make friends and socialise with others. There are various opportunities for a child to learn social interaction, whether in a school setting or outside it. Sometimes, at a particular point in time of childhood, a school setting may not necessary be the best place for some children to learn social interaction.

If your intention is to homeschool your child, perhaps it's better to consider the various options available (and beyond) to homeschoolers. Letting 'not able to recreate a school environment' stop you, especially at the preschooler stage, is such a pity. But that's just my 2cents.

[venuschan]

Dont worry rawafish :), my experience, HS doesn't make a child more introvert if s(he) is an extrovert...My daughter is an extrovert, very expressive and she is in school now @ Primary 1 this year, every other day she asks me to stop her class ie bc to her school is boring, school work bores her to tears and she often complains no friend...that said, she is still a bubbling girl and a very sociable one. I could feel her loneliness inside bc she reads more than her peers and she has interest that her peers certainly don't get it now, she often says her friend is mean, her friend is naive, her friend don't understand cosmology, dont know wormhole, big bang, don't watch \"fringe\" and many many more.....I can't blame her and/or any her friends bc gifted is just very asynchronous...Just that we need to bear in mind they are boring at school..give an example she learns daily and make sentence words like belligerence, bellicose, antebellum but her school is only in the level of \"she is a girl, she loves drawing....\"


My 2 cents: it's still a better choice to homeschool young child if need arises, just that we need to incorporate more \"outdoorsy\" activities.

[Rio]

Hi rawafish,


I sense your dilemma, and i was somewhat in your shoes b4. I had almost the same concern as you with my DS2 since he was 3 yrs old. I was clueless on how what I should do with my DS. He began reading since 2.5, and by the time he enters N2 in a kindergarten, one could tell he was way advance than the other kids. Teachers told me he would always sit in one specific corner in class, clinging his water bottle, and daydreaming away. Yet when teacher asked him questions, he would still be able to answer. DS hardly talk to his peer, but would heartily share his daily activities with the teachers after each lesson. He has few friends, perhaps only 2 or 3 by the time he finished N2. His closest friend was a girl who was as quiet as him.

He moved on to K1 with most of the classmates from his N2 class. I was happy when he began to get invited to birthday parties. He has learned to know more friends, and began sharing with me who are his playmate in school. He still day dream, but the teachers were great in letting him participate more in class. As he can read, the teachers would encourage him to lead the class during reading session. I never ask him what he has learn in school, but rather what he has played and who did he play with.

DS2 is now in K2. He is still as introvert, and limits his friendship to a handful of children. Teachers still tell me that he will not initiate conversation with other kids. It’s always the kids that will goes to him for help (cos he always know the answers), and girls love to play with him (cos he is quiet and gentle). But he will never reject them. To me, that is a great achievement, as he has progress from a sit-alone child (in N2) to now able to socialise. Nowadays he will talk more of the few boy friends that he has gotten to know since K1, and would also readily tell me what are the sports or activities that he has participated during lessons. Sometimes he would even try to bring small toys to school, so as to catch the other students attention. The teachers allow him to do it, cos they see him as trying to find ways to learn to make friends. Of course, teacher told me they only allow him to bring out the toy after lesson.

It depends on what u wants for your kid. For me, I persist with pre-school education cos I wan him to learn how to socialise with same age kids. Honestly, if your child is smart/gifted, she will learn to pick up knowledge without even you teaching her. My DS2 is 5.5 yrs old now, K2 and is doing Maths Olymplaid questions and reading P3 textbooks. He picks up the books from his elder sister. Knowledge can be pick up as long as they are inquisitive. Whereas for social skills, it takes much more to learn and involve interaction with other kids. For DS, I felt it was the constant exposure to age-similar kids that opens him up. And I maintain it with familiarity by not changing the environment and stressing him.

It might take time and effort, but I am sure with the right help frm the right teacher in the right environment, your kid will benefit greatly from a pre-school setting.

[metz]

The fact is, whether be it a homeschooling or formal school setting, social interaction will continue to be a challenge for some kids (regardless gifted or not). Either way, they have to try and learn to interact with others. My kids have been through both settings and ultimately, I prefer them to be in a formal school setting where they can experience social interaction and other aspects of life without my direct involvement. As what my son’s kindergarten teacher once said to me - teach him to look for and appreciate the strengths of other children and learn from them. He will benefit much more from that. It is one of the best advice I have ever received on parenting.