When filial piety get outsourced

[Oppsgal]

I find the article not enough details. Why now not staying together anymore with the parents?


Maybe there is another side of the story not heard?

[Oppsgal]

What happen to the house the parents used to stay?

[pirate]

Oppsgal:

I find the article not enough details. Why now not staying together anymore with the parents?

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=2075

Click \"View Result\" for answer. :razz:

[KSP]

better to stay nearby walking distance but not under the same roof…

[phtthp]

KSP:

better to stay nearby walking distance but not under the same roof......

agree

can stay different apartment in the same HDB block, or opposite block nearby, but not under the same roof

[insider]

This is the true story of one my best friends:


Her brother when newly married, stayed with the wife in a new house.

Then they have two kids, about 1 to 2 years apart from one another.

So, they got their widowed mum to stay in their house so that both could work and mum could help to take care of the kids (without maid).

About 2 years ago, they wanted to shift house (from a small landed with more rooms to a bigger condo with lesser rooms).

Then they told the widowed mum now kids big oredi (around sec 2 and sec 4) and so need their own rooms and so not enough room for her anymore and told her to 回老家 (where my single friend is still staying).

Mum traumatised, went home, and cried and cried.

So friend tried to reason with her brother cannot take mum as "use and throw" but brother asked her to be ‘more understanding’ coz wife cannot get along with the mum all these years and she has been ‘tolerating’ the in law for children’s sake (something along the line of his wife has been 委屈 all these years).

Friend was so angry and she thought that they had used shifting to a new place with lesser rooms to kick her mum out.

Mum never recovered until now, recently went to consult doctor for depression symptoms (my friend brought her to the doc when one night she went to my friend’s room to beg her not to get married otherwise she will be alone. Mum said never in her life she would expect her only son to abandon her. In the past, her mum always encouraged her to find a man to get married but now it’s a 180 degree turn).

So, this case is not really an ‘outsource’ but is similar coz now occasionally we will bring her out for nice meal together to cheer her up, coz cannot depend on son anymore. (mum is about 74 years old now.)

养儿子好？ 一般上都斗不过老婆…

[sembgal]

insider:

This is the true story of one my best friends:


Her brother when newly married, stayed with the wife in a new house.

Then they have two kids, about 1 to 2 years apart from one another.

So, they got their widowed mum to stay in their house so that both could work and mum could help to take care of the kids (without maid).

About 2 years ago, they wanted to shift house (from a small landed with more rooms to a bigger condo with lesser rooms).

Then they told the widowed mum now kids big oredi (around sec 2 and sec 4) and so need their own rooms and so not enough room for her anymore and told her to 回老家 (where my single friend is still staying).

Mum traumatised, went home, and cried and cried.

So friend tried to reason with her brother cannot take mum as \"use and throw\" but brother asked her to be 'more understanding' coz wife cannot get along with the mum all these years and she has been 'tolerating' the in law for children's sake (something along the line of his wife has been 委屈 all these years).

Friend was so angry and she thought that they had used shifting to a new place with lesser rooms to kick her mum out.

Mum never recovered until now, recently went to consult doctor for depression symptoms (my friend brought her to the doc when one night she went to my friend's room to beg her not to get married otherwise she will be alone. Mum said never in her life she would expect her only son to abandon her. In the past, her mum always encouraged her to find a man to get married but now it's a 180 degree turn).

So, this case is not really an 'outsource' but is similar coz now occasionally we will bring her out for nice meal together to cheer her up, coz cannot depend on son anymore. (mum is about 74 years old now.)

养儿子好？ 一般上都斗不过老婆......

Thank you for sharing that true life experience of your friend's.
There is a saying that it is better to give birth to daughters than sons now. The more filial ones are the daughters.

[Oppsgal]

Much depends. Wait they push the responsibility to and fro when the parents old already.


So next time must ask for pay if ask to help look after grandchildren.

At least still got a shelter under the head... don't sell the house to move in together next time. :gloomy:

[janet88]

Need help and mother comes in handy...look after grandchildren without maid. Then children grown up and in secondary school, said wife cannot get along with mother and had to tolerate because of the children...such things do happen :slapshead:


Hubby's sister is of a damn kind...use authoritative tone to tell hubby to do this and that...say things like, 'that's your mother, you know.' But will never fail to remind the old ones she is still their daughter. What has she done? Nothing.