All About Parenting Teenagers
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Sorry but I find it strange that he has no particular interests. Does he simply stare into space during his free time? If he quits school, what does he plan to be doing with his time? Sleep whole day? Stare into space?
Can the father take him to work one whole day & let him shadow along to see what working life is about? It’s not necessarily going to be less dull (or less tiring) than school. -
😂 he finds no joy in doing anything including playing video games. He does listen to music or read books too but there’s no joy from it. So it’s a little bit more interesting than staring into space but I suppose the void is there.
Sometimes hb works from home and he’s on calls all day or doing work. He does see his father working a lot and he knows it’s not more desirable than school.
In fact, it’s like going from one miserable existence to the next.
Today he had a long day in school and he came back saying that he was so exhausted he can’t even think about not going to school. I’m like I think it’s a good thing. 😅 -
If it’s really no joy even in leisure pursuits, and not even friends or CCA to look forward to in school…possibly depression?
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mingnjien\" post_id=\"2020947\" time=\"1618996415\" user_id=\"165835:
I empathize with you as ano parent.
😂 he finds no joy in doing anything including playing video games. He does listen to music or read books too but there’s no joy from it. So it’s a little bit more interesting than staring into space but I suppose the void is there.
Sometimes hb works from home and he’s on calls all day or doing work. He does see his father working a lot and he knows it’s not more desirable than school.
In fact, it’s like going from one miserable existence to the next.
Today he had a long day in school and he came back saying that he was so exhausted he can’t even think about not going to school. I’m like I think it’s a good thing. 😅
I can’t help wondering if he needs emotional charge from daddy as the man-figure & father-figure. Many times, young men need the male model to get the meaning for their life pursuit. Teenage stage is a critical stage to get them over identity search & identity crisis. They need a strong steering for their purpose in life. It’s often very draining & tiring for mums to be the only guide & beacon. Talk to your hubby & make a decisive choose to amicably support yr son’s development.
I had a peer who gave up his hectic mktg & travelling job 3 years back when he saw how willful his older daughter was. He nvr turned back coz both are now well guided. He’s the SAHF with wife FTWM on her one salary. -
Is he having enough sleep?
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zac's mum\" post_id=\"2020950\" time=\"1618997094\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2020950 time=1618997094 user_id=53606]
That's what crossed my mind too. I think seeing a counsellor is a good idea - sometimes they may open up more to a stranger than a family member. You mentioned that you made an appointment for him to see a counsellor some time in the future? Maybe try to get an earlier appointment?
If it’s really no joy even in leisure pursuits, and not even friends or CCA to look forward to in school...possibly depression?[/quote]
Also, maybe you and your husband also need to have more fun! Maybe set aside some time each day just to chat and chill (no complaints about work allowed)? And a few hours every weekend to just go out somewhere together? -
His Appt has been pushed back every month. But for now he has agreed to the june Appt. We’ve been seeing the counselor for years.
And yes, his father spends time with him and destresses with him whenever he wfh and weekends. We’re a single income family as it is. And my hb and I have fun…
My children lights out at 8pm and he says he sleeps around 9pm.
I’m just hoping it’s a phase and he’ll snap out of it at some point. He says it’s not depression… we’ve (and counselor) been asking him for years. -
mingnjien\" post_id=\"2020923\" time=\"1618984856\" user_id=\"165835:
Have you tried echoing his words after listening to him? Some people find console in that, makes the person feel like you are listening attentively when u repeat what he said in a slightly similar way.
Thank you for your replies!
He’s currently sec 2. He says he’s just really bored with school and doesn’t see the point in going, doesn’t learn much from school (according to him) so it’s just tedious.
He knows the big picture about how his results now will determine the job (and pay) he gets next time etc. I think he sees his father working long hours and thinks it’s hard working for a comfortable life also.
He has no particular interests. In fact, everything is dull to him at the moment. I asked if he was depressed and he said he isn’t. I referred him to an article on nyt and asked if he’s “languishing” and he said he isn’t...
I get cut off before I can give any advice and if I empathize, he’ll also think I’m just trying to belittle his feelings (cos it’s so common)...
If I don’t say anything and just listen, that’s wrong too cos it seems like I don’t care.
Really hope it’s just “stress” of the coming CT that’s behind it.
I have an appt w a counselor in June cos I don’t know what to say/do.
Sometimes it’s just a passing phrase, teenage years is hard but time also flashes by quickly. -
Been seeing counsellor for years… think quite serious case already. Try be more understanding, try not to scold and stress him. Hope he could find his root issues soon or you all able to find his root issues. Maybe help him make some friends etc…All the best.
To edit…volunteering suddenly came into my mind…you want want to explore that abit. -
Thank you for your suggestions!
Will continue to listen to him and have more patience...
We hope to find the root issue also and also hope the hormones blow over soon 😅
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