Asia spending billions on tutors: study
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limlim:
:celebrate: Aiyo, old and blur already. The truncated post I mentioned earlier was from another thread, not this one. So maybe Autumnbronze didn't mean that post? Anyway, I'll make my exit from these 2 threads liao, scared of new crossfire. Oxyleo, your crystal ball's prediction was spot on!
I read that too :hi5: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:Lilac66:
Autumnbronze, rest assured that alot of parents here know there are alot of dedicated teachers , and you are one of them like I mentioned. How many teachers will do a one-on-one with the students before exam just because they requested it. (See I remember that post). I believe you are a very gentle parent and forumner but I also know you reacted that way because this is something very close to your heart and having through alot of pain. I'm just afraid this may have clouded your judgment and you may have read more into some posts more than intended.
:snuggles: :hugs:
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Autumnbronzee sista.. you definitely didn't read too much into the posts. There are blatant insidious side swipes taking digs at those whom they thought do not share similar pain or views and uncalled for but hey what do I know. I love teachers not just cause I know you and I and many many others are darn good ones who are passionate abt what we do, but many parents have had trouble reflecting on various contributing factors and possible underlying issues which could directly or indirectly reflect upon what their expectations are vs what the child is capable of. In pushing for best potentials there indeed are parents who cannot discern between pushing for the good and acceptance of what a child has tried to maximize. I've had turned away a handful of parents who had children who were way too advanced already even before the interest to be under my coaching. Never once have we discredited more can be done with the organization of how things are run and neither have we declined doable ideas if really at all they were for pure intent. The human industry is as such that there WILL be delivery variance whether or not there are things in place as it is only human to be different. Not prototype robot cut n moulded from the same steel. This is not exclusive to the teaching profession alone.
I was going to share in detail how we rose above adversity my kids and I with our personal experiences with bad teacher bullies and tutors but I suppose now my pain may be seen as less painful as others though my child has failed too but since it didn't kill us, it only made us stronger and came out better enlightened thru the process of coming out still alive tho breathless but yet still scathed nevertheless.
Rest my sista, these petty nuances are not as important as getting well quickly to care for your family. Concentrate on getting well. Hopefully by the time you are better all this are just painful memories left behind.. making way for fresh, new & ideally more positive ones for us to genuinely share and learn.
:hugs:
We've had too many good ppl leaving. I had personal notes from a couple of them to tell me personally how dismayed they were with how this place has slowly changed. If you guys are reading this, just to letcha know your sharings and presence have been greatly missed. :grphug: -
BeContented:
Hi,autumnbronze:
....
On a separate note, it is becoming very pain(ful) to read the postings here. And I apologize first now if this is going to be harsh. But I will be speaking from my heart. I am doubting the extent of the 'pain' that those
have gone through. The alternative camp here has only tried to seek to clarify and provide, well, an alternative view. For those who claim that we are not civilized in our postings, well my FIL always admonishes my son that \"remember boy, for one finger pointing at others, there are four fingers pointing back at you\".
Hi Autumnbronze, what you have mentioned gel with my feelings too. It was a joy to read most threads in KSP in the past (even tho I have only joined less that 2 years, but the 'pain' is getting a little overbearing for me too.
For myself, if I have adopted an unfriendly tone, I have explained why in
my previous post. However, seems to me that limlim's camp time and again take offense in what the alternative group have to say and choose to
read what they want to read, to the point of truncating certain statements in their replies. The latest posts that I have just read, the subtle or not so
subtle nuances towards the alternative group shocked me. Now who is stoking the fire huh?? Haiz, it's so clear that ONLY their views hold water, only THEY have experienced the pain, ONLY they are victims of bad teachers. Well, life is full of choices!!! You make your life out the way you
want it to be. Not happy with the sch, nothing being done by MOE or the sch after feedback, then transfer out if you want immediate changes to be
put in effect, as someone aptly put it.
.....
I have personally gone through so much PAIN in life during my younger days that which has shaped me the way I am now. I have my PRIORITIES in check. and I choose to see the good in life. Nothing wrong in that. Perhaps that's why I am at peace with myself.
Good for you :love:
I feel for you. I feel for you because there is so much bitterness in your
posts. And as someone put it in another thread, this is only Pri education.
......
Bitterness & a little ugly sometimes..... :sad:
This is an open forum, lest someone comes in and blasts me for my post.
Please bear that in mind. And I am certainly not off topic. There are underlying messages. But then again, perhaps one is in too much pain to read them. If you do not agree with me, I am fine with that. If you choose to respond to this post. I won't be replying. It's my last in here. So you can say \"good riddance to this poster\" under your breath or if
it makes you feel better, aloud then.
Where are the mods anyway??? Seriously CKS, you should reinstate those
who have 'resigned' from the posts because when they were around, the forum was so much more civil. But I guess views from ole timers like me don't matter much anymore .....
Sorry to hear that you have decided to stop replying cos' I do think your posts have often provide a very balanced view....like some others. But guess I kinda understand how you feel cos' I too, feeling tired. Dun think I will last much longer either.....
Peace within ourselves :love:
Do not be afraid to be :heresmyfish: :pokeeye: .
Just speak out what you feel. If not, what is this forum for?
I have been :heresmyfish: :pokeeye: before in ksparents. Many attack me one. But I just :siam: for a while and come back sometime later.
This is because sometimes there is something that I feel like and need to voice out and this voicing out can help someone somewhere feels better.
That's me!!! :imcool: -
Lilac66 - are u taking cover now? :gloomy:
What did we do??? Or what did I do? Was it me? Or was it someone else.... Something else?...
Sometimes in life, some things are imminent. Human after all.
For all those that are upset and writhing in pain from the ugly display of human nature, thanks for sharing your feelings. There's no right or wrong - it's how you feel. And it's good you share it.
For all those that have hurled words of scorn and meanness at others, or even stoked the flames of fire :oops: (oh my, I'm now classified in a similar camp as
, hey look - similarity ), nobody is really gonna believe us anyway if we say that it was unintended. And maybe we will even be unapologetic, even produce satisfactory grounds, for good reason, for the positions taken.
Now we know why some islands under dispute remain so for a long, long time, to the extent that it can even cause an unprecedented stall in the latest ASEAN meeting communique.
So.....
I'm sorry to hear some saying they will not post here anymore. Since you've shared, it is only fair that I share that I WILL continue. (Cringe! Grimace!)
To me, this represents freedom of speech. Freedom of expression. it's actually a cause for celebration! :celebrate:
As much as someone demands civility in a forum, they don't necessarily get it. Nope, sorry. No gag orders.
As much as someone demands more peaceful sharings and less animosity, they don't necessarily get it either. Cos, nope, sorry, no gag orders.
I'm sure we can pick up the pieces, and continue our discussion on the phenomenon. Can't we?
You see, there is
-Who : Who caused the phenomenon? I think we are stuck here. And then war broke out.
-What : what caused it? Quite similar the above, cos we touched on systems, KPIs, kiasu ism
- How : how did we get to this stage?
-When : when did it start really and for how long more will it last?
-Why : why is it important to discuss this phenomenon ie the effects, both positive and negative for our children, families, the next generation, society at large.
We all have a different threshold for pain, shame, and different values towards self-gain, and different perspectives on society vs self.
Why don't we leave everyone as they are, and have a meaningful subject matter discussion?
A merger of stands may actually bring about the birth of something new! :romance: -
MyChildren - I think you are perfect being you, and that is very cool
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Chenonceau:
[color=#0000FF]Nothing wrong with being perfectionist, expectation on oneself to perform to his/her best. So I did not diss you...it's a general statement made. In fact, I'm criticizing myself for not always trying my best.
BUT... are you directing this at me? If you are... here is my response... DS was 2nd in class last year and I was over the moon. He was 2nd last in Chinese at CA1 this year and I was quite happy that he didn't fail because many did.BeContented:
You might be a perfectionist and cannot accept a 2nd best.....I CAN. If one try their best, clear, pass, over. Move on.
This said, I am still a perfectionist. I want to do things well. I wouldn't release a report that I though was sub-par... nor put out a book without taking care that it was the highest quality I can produce. Nothing wrong with being perfectionist... and I should not be dissed for it.
Anyway, my concern is on the possible unrealistic expectations imposed on kids (ie. on another). But of course, there will be all the 'do not want to deprive the child the opportunity of reaching their full potential etc'. Guess, this is never-ending, so I have said my piece on setting realistic expectations....that'll be about all I'll say.Chenonceau:
BeContented:
Am not asking people to be contented and dun care, but to relook and adjust some of their expectations.
This is a good clarification.Chenonceau:
BeContented:
It's painful tho to listen to people complaining about being unable to buy new/luxury car, ranting over 5-10 mins of waiting time for bus/MRT... people from high income/bigger units complain about the peanut$ and getting less than others.
So your posts ridiculing people for not being contented only refer to such people is it? Those who wanna buy luxury cars and won't wait 5-10 minutes? ? That's again a good clarification.
Even then, it could be that for some people, 5-10 minutes has serious implications. A cleaner was late and his already small salary was docked. Those in bigger flats may have recently been retrenched? I knew a banker earning $15,000 one day and out of job the next. It was overnight.
I do not include those whom you have mentioned. Clearly stated was those who rant over cannot afford new condo/luxury car/property etc. I can jolly join this group too....rant and rant over condo too expensive, cannot buy new car etc.... I chose not to. As for 5-10 mins longer wait....it's like complaining why hawker centre no aircon. IF one is worried about being late, leave the house earlier....work around it. We seem to always take different sampling groups to compare dun we?Chenonceau:
BeContented:
True, I am blessed that my kids are doing well....but does that mean that I have a perfectly blessed journey with zero pain...as implied by some? Not the same type of pain? Ohhhh, my pain not as painful as yours.....
I'm not sure I want to descend into comparing whose life is more painful. My life is fine, I assure you. I have pulled us all out of the depths. DS is not top of the top, but I am sanguine enough to have left him Home Alone during his PSLE year whilst I went on 3 different overseas trips this year.
Indeed, I am perhaps more bochap than even you because I did not apply for DSA. DS does a sport that exposes him to a coach from RI. This coach loves my son and sees great potential in him for the sport. I could have chosen to DSA, and I think we would have stood a good chance... but I did not. Partly, I want DS to know that he has no safety net. Partly, I was busy.
Your son is DSA-ing?
OOOOHHHHH yes. Anyway, my role is to just prepare the docs, chauffeur him & pay for whatever fees. The rest up to him. If he objects violently, it's OFF. If he's keen to try but dun bother to prepare for it at all, it's his choice.....anyway, an experience for him to see the 'world' since he hardly get any exposure to interviews.Chenonceau:
But enough about me and you... I am now coaching a mother whose child fails 4 subjects. There is a lot of pain there, I can tell you. If people like you and I (with reasonably successful kids) have no empathy for people like that, and sit out our keyboards to joke and poke sarcastic fun at people like HER for be UNcontented, then the world is a sad sad place.
But I think you have clarified that your scorn and ridicule are not directed at Mothers like her. So I guess we are somewhat in agreement.
Wow.....you use really impactful and intense words......scorn and ridicule. Since that's how you had interpret my post Anyway, I won't bother myself over people who chooses to behave so, by that I am referring to those who joke/poke fun. I do my part as a good person, & prefer to live simply.....happy & not resentful/bitter. 
Chenonceau:
BeContented:
I know of 1 parent, she has always compared her gal with my DD....their gap widen over the years and she increased her gal's tuition to 7 per week (4 subjects). Her comparing and complaints are still on-going and these are the types of pain I will ignore. But then again, all of us will feel that our pain are geniune and should not be ignored/dismissed.
I have friends like this too. They compare their kids with mine. However, I don't judge them. I try and help them instead.
Would be interested to know how to help this friend. Do propose any good methods that you may have. As far as I can see now....her gal is very unhappy cos' she's always benchmarked against my gal and kena scolded because she did worse than DD....so until that gal win my DD, that parent is unhappy.
Yes, enough about me and you which was never meant to be in the first place.
Better to soak myself with some positive energy......KSP is sapping my energy these days. :sad: -
Oxyleo, I'm taking cover, hoping to seek refuge in safer threads like Tuckshop etc where you'll never go wrong.
After some recuperation, knowing myself , I'll creep back to kaypo in the hotter threads. :boogie:
Till now I'm still scratching my head about the \"crossfire\". What have we not done to clarfiy our stand? We tried to make peace (inclu limlim). So I don't know where along the line, the communication just snapped. Anyway, do continue to contribute Oxyleo, really love reading your posts and thoroughly enjoyed your humor. :hi5:
Btw, just to add like what you and other parents have commented. Let's all be more civil and mindful of our words. It's one thing to disagree and another to \"rubbish\" others' views or the experience they may have had. -
Lilac66:
I think AB snapped when she read cherryc's bit on wanting \"civilized\" discourse. It was interpreted as \"the alternative camp\" being uncivilized. Actually, I think it was cherryc merely wished to respond to VKS2010's \"rubbish\" remark (and I think she felt bad for Janet). So... that ONE spark \"rubbish\" lead to a SECOND spark \"uncivilized\"... and a fire began again.Oxyleo, I'm taking cover, hoping to seek refuge in safer threads like Tuckshop etc where you'll never going wrong.
After some recuperation, knowing myself , I'll creep back to kaypo in the hotter threads. :boogie:
Till now I'm still scratching my head about the \"crossfire\". What have we not done to clarfiy our stand? We tried to make peace (inclu limlim). So I don't know where along the line, the communication just snapped. Anyway, do continue to contribute Oxyleo, really love reading your posts and thoroughly enjoyed your humor. :hi5:
There was wrong on both sides.
Peace everyone. Just clarify your logic and refrain from words that hint at \"uncivilized\" or outright accuse \"rubbish\". As Buds said, and AB has herself PM-ed me, no one objects to reasonable suggestions to improve the system... and no one actually thinks the system is perfect. Then again, for the record, no one also disputes that 100% consistency amongst schools is not possible.
Somewhere, we are reasonable people and do in fact meet in the middle. Even Becontented's posts, once clarified, don't look as unkind as I thought they were. Even limlim has acknowledged a \"bad idea\".
Oxyleo and Lilac66, you have my respect. Cherryc, it was nice of you to stick up for poor Janet. -
Chenonceau:
I think AB snapped when she read cherryc's bit on wanting \"civilized\" discourse. It was interpreted as \"the alternative camp\" being uncivilized. Actually, I think it was cherryc merely wished to respond to VKS2010's \"rubbish\" remark. So... that ONE spark \"rubbish\" lead to a SECOND spark \"uncivilized\"... and a fire began again.
There was wrong on both sides.
Peace everyone. Just clarify your logic and refrain from words that hint at \"uncivilized\" or outright accuse \"rubbish\". As Buds said, and AB has herself PM-ed me, no one objects to reasonable suggestions to improve the system... and no one actually thinks the system is perfect. Then again, for the record, no one also disputes that 100% consistency amongst schools is not possible.
Somewhere, we are reasonable people and do in fact meet in the middle. Even Becontented's posts, once clarified, don't look as unkind as I thought they were. Even limlim has acknowledged a \"bad idea\".
Thank you Chen for the clarfication and unbiased post. You are indeed the undisputed \"Queen of Peace\", haha. :rahrah: After some thoughts, I feel if vsk2010 is willing to tone down his expressions a tad alittle, maybe the fire would not have been ignited so quickly. But then again, being a man, usually they are too direct and fast without processing the words first, unlike women.
He has been very generous in his sharing of info and knowledge and I salute him for that.Chenonceau:
Thanks. The feeling is definitely mutual. :salute:
Oxyleo and Lilac66, you have my respect -
Oh my, what happened? How did this thread become so fiery?
I think for some of us who have been in this forum long enough, we should know the ‘pattern’ of some regular forummers. Brash, abrupt, provocative, gossipy, insightful, inciteful, thoughtful, etc. So far, most forummers are decent and civilised and generous with their knowledge. We do get kinda boisterous over topics that we are passionate about but at the end of the day, there is no ill will in any of the posts. I remember vividly that VKS2010 and 3boys (or was it someone else) appear to be at each others throat over some discussions and soon enough you see them hi-fiving each other over another topic as their views concur.
So peace everyone, stay objective and not let it get too personal.
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