Spending time with your parents or in-laws

[3greatkids]

My MIL stays with me to help out and my FIL and SIL drops by almost every night to have dinner so I see them almost everyday. Sometimes when we bring the children on outings, they would tag along too but I’m fine with that as they really are a great help as I dun have a maid. With 3 kids in tow, I need whatever help I can get haha.


I will have dinner with my sis and mum at least once during the weekdays and we go over every sunday with the kids unless my mum decides to go malaysia or my dad does not come back during that weekend coz he’s working in batam. Before the kids, we wld prob eat out together once a week and weekends we usually do our own stuff. When the kids came along, it seems natural to bring them to see their grandparents. DH is working retail hours so he only goes back with me if he is off that particular sunday.

I guess it’s easy for us coz we all stay in the north and at the same time, we were brought up that way where we visit our grandparents almost every week as well so it has become more of a tradition. I’m sure I would want that to happen when I grow older and my children have their own kids so it’s never too early to teach them this tradition (personal agenda haha).

[Poohbear]

This indeed brings back fond memories of childhood when we would go over to our paternal grandparents place every Sunday. As the 3 of us like char siew + ngor hiang, grandpa is sure to get them from the mkt for us 3 little pigs to indulge... :grphug:


For my maternal grandma, we will go over on weekdays... when my mum don feel like cooking, we will go over there for dinner...

These memories are part of my childhood memories.. and likewise, i would wan to be part of my kids too...

We visit our PILs on 1 weekday nite, rarely missing it. We visit my mum for the weekends. We may miss it if we got gatherings with frens but since my mum knows most of my frens, she will go along with us.. so that sort of make up for it...

And my grandparents are still around ... so i will also try to bring them to visit great-grandparents abt once a month... All these visits are usually for abt an hour or 2 hours max... That the best we can do for now... Hope to stay this way even as the kids grow older...

Another thing is to organise birthday celebrations for my gals - its an excuse also to bring both extended families together at least twice a year...
:celebrate:

[Bowie]

Hi,


My gal is taken good care of by my in laws, so we get to c them everyday after work. As for my parents, we make it a point to bring my gal to their place every Saturday, so that my gal can play with her grandpa, grandma, aunties and uncles.

I always wish I have a close knitted family. It did not happen for me when I was young as my parents are busy working. But I feel kids really will bring the whole family together.

After my gal is borne, we get closer to my in laws. (We used to visit them only every week once, now we see them everyday.) My gal become our common topic, and we work together on the same \"project\" i.e. to bring up my gal. I am really grateful to my in laws for taking good care of my gal.

As for my parent side, after marriage, all my siblings moved out and focus on our career and lives. But after having my gal, all the aunties and uncles really dotes on her and always make a point to to go my parents place when she is there on Saturday.

These feelings are really good. Though my in laws are staying West, my parents are in the North and me somewhere in bet. I feel all these travels worth it ALL. :love:

Feel strongly to urge everyone to invest a bit of time every week or so to be with your parents cos these people who have bring us up, will only grow older with time.

[SGoku]

Thank you Mathsparks for bringing up this poll...it seems i \"spark\" up your inspiration to create this.


I grew up in an nest where my grandparent took care of me like a king...not prince, but king. Being the eldest grandson of a hainanese clan, i am given almost every privileges that a child can possibly have...toys, chicken drumstick, money to buy this and that, etc etc (if at my age that time have wi or ps3, i think i can get it easily)

Time flies. Like most of you, i miss my grandparent. Grandmum left in 1993 while grandpa left May 09. They cannot come back but their spirit remains with me.

This kind of kinship make us human a human and it is our responsible to pass it down to next generation. Whatever us as a parent do, our children have eyes to see. Whatever us as a parent say, our children have ears to hear. Whatever us as a parent think, our children have heart to feel.

We stay with my parent so there is no need to visit them. As for my in law, they stay in the west....East to West then back West to East. I give my in law the same benefit as i would give to my parent. With equal patience, love and of course $$.

The main reason why i keep this habit of visiting my in law (sometime we stay there overnight), is because i know the maximum years i can do so is only 25 years. Given that they are 60 years old, another 25 years would be 85 years old. I wish they could live until then healthily but judging by recently death age and reason why they die, i am not so positive.

I remember Singapore 25th birthday back in 1990, that time i am only primary 6. Too bad internet not that popular then and KSP not born yet. Singaporean pretty excited about it because it is 1/4 of a century.

Now i may have only 1/4 of a century to be filial to my parent and in law. Everyone must leave this world some day but i do not want to bring regrets along.

And another reason is because i am going to be a daddy soon too. Monkey see monkey do. I dont want my child to treat me badly when i become old . hehe: :celebrate:

[mathsparks]

MLR:

We hv a meal with my mom at least once a month, when I give her the monthly allowance.

Every 3 months, I'll internet transfer the allowance for my parents, though I draw a line at doing so for their ang pow. Always make it a point to give them personally.

schellen:

This thread reminds me of this: http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4169

Sorry chief, please feel free to merge. :oops:

SGoku:

Thank you Mathsparks for bringing up this poll...it seems i \"spark\" up your inspiration to create this.

Yes, SGoku, you provided the spark. I've always wanted to find out if this tradition is still alive. Does anyone know if this is peculiar to SG only? Or is this common in Asian society?

Seeing so many positive responses, I was beginning to feel lousy that I've not been filial.

Then I remembered that over the years, my siblings and I, with our kids, have brought our parents on long driving trips to UK, Scotland, Paris, Sydney, Perth etc. Brought them to many parts of China (including the beautiful Jiuzhaigou), Malaysia and Thailand too. Though we don't spend every weekend with them, those holiday trips we spent together are memorable for the kids and us. Recently showed my girl videos of her learning line dancing with 婆婆 in Brisbane. She was smiling away as she recalled the fun times she spent with her grandma. So I guess my kids would have memories of their grandparents too.

*runs off to call mum to remind her abt the line dancing memories*

[Luanee]

We see my mil every weekday becoz she helps to take care of the kids while we go to work. For my mum, we will go every Sunday, rain or shine, unless kiddo is sick. I try to call her every mid-week during office hours to check what she is doing at home alone , even set up a reminder on my hp to remind me to do so. But sometimes still forget. Feels quite guilty about it when she has to call me instead. :oops:

[winth]

We will see our PIL every weekend, usually without fail, for dinner, usually for approx 3 hours there. DH will try to call MIL/SIL every night to hear them out.


As for my parents, there is no weekly ritual, sometimes we don’t even see them for as long as a week or so since they have alot of kakis with them. The good thing is that they live so near to us that they would come drop by as and when they miss the boys and sometimes relieve me of the night-fetching from the childcare. The boys like to call them to buy soy bean milk (famous in redhill) and my parents would come by with that the next day.

[Funz]

Will be at my parents' every Saturday and DH will join us there for dinner after his golf game. With PILs, adhoc, but of late, FIL has been popping by almost every Sunday. The kids enjoy seeing their granparents and I can see that the granparents really look forward to their company and getting updated about their various antics.


Problem is with both days taken up by the granparents now, and with DH travelling a fair bit due to his work. And chinese enrichment + swimming lessons on Sunday, I am finding that we, as in just DH & I and the kids, dun have much time together.

:idea: DH gotta sacrifice his golf so that we can spend the better part of Saturday with the kids and go over to our parents in the late afternoon.
Haiz, not gonna happen though cos when DH doesn't get to go for his golf he is an :x man. Not very good company.

[MLR]

Funz:

Haiz, not gonna happen though cos when DH doesn't get to go for his golf he is an :x man. Not very good company.

Totally understand that, DH's passion is dragon boating, which takes about 2 to 3 hrs and then stayed back to hang out for a few more hours. Well, do understand that its their way of unwind and also keeps them healthy. Definately better than go clubbing/ karoke bars/marathon mahjong sessions.

[winth]

funz:

Problem is with both days taken up by the granparents now, and with DH travelling a fair bit due to his work. And chinese enrichment + swimming lessons on Sunday, I am finding that we, as in just DH & I and the kids, dun have much time together.

Same problem here.
That's why we don't go to my parents' place, which leaves us 1 free weekend to have our own family get-together. Plus we'll go to PILs only during dinner time, so that gives us 1 full Saturday + morn & afternoon of Sunday.
To us, the immediate family comes first and time to be spent alone with DH and children is vital in maintaining family cohesiveness. Might not be a very popular thought here, but up till now, this is how we get around with more time spent for ourselves and our children.